Now is exactly 1.14 p.m. of 6th of July, 2010.
Yesterday about this time, I was having problem pushing food down my throat because I have been over-eating the King of Fruits; the durian. I've been eating durian everyday except yesterday onwards.
But today, I don't even know whether I want to have lunch or I must have lunch. Am I hungry? YES. Really hungry? Yup. But why? Well it is stressing to know that I am stressed.
It's good to know that I am stress and depress. So what is the remedy of stress?
How do I reduce my stress level?
How do I detox?
[This is not me stressed and writing.. definately not.]
Of course, for me - IT'S WRITING WHAT'S BOTHERING ME IN MY MIND OUT SOMEWHERE...
I used to be able to speed text a strain of SMSes in a speed of a bullet! (I think...) The best part is, I don't have to think. It just flow with the rage. Hmmm.. I feel good after that. I don't scream or yell or fume like dragons. However, my dediciated receiver of the day, can no longer take it. I guess It is damaging for the receiver to decode all the coding I'm fuming out.
[Do you get the message as I do? Whatever...]
Well of course, this is not the only way.. but other options not feasible at this moment..... such as
this?
[No can do! I'm on diet, baby!]
or this
[I'm so away from my sewing machine... huhuhu]
or this
[I love shopping. But not when I'm so stressed up and depressed. It will be suicide!]
or else, this is what happen...
good for the economy, bad for my personal savings!!!!!! Argggghhh...
So what's left for remedy?
Write and write and write and write...
What am I stressed of? Ha ha ha.. (lamely laughing...)
Of course I know what and why..
I'm coping with all stuff... some I'm giving up
The giving up part is taxing!
I'm giving up.. there are just a few things in life that I knew worth much more once given up.
But still, it's depressing.
And today I'm much more stressed up for something else.
What is it?
At the break of dawn today,
this thing has been bothering me...
I know I'm a great presenter.
I know I can solve this.
But yet, it's boiling deep down
because...
every time I'm invited for 'this' kind of talk, it bothers me.
All the time.
Actually, I am not afraid of being labeled -
No, I'm not.
After all everyone gets the bits of it....
I'm more concern of how do I make some audiences..
I mean - SOME PARTICULAR AUDIENCES
concentrate on a TECHNICAL MATTERS
when they are
SLEEEPPPPPPPYYYYYYY.....
Not their fault! They just tired! They watched the WorldCup.
who would want to miss the WorldCup for Me?
When no matter what I try, no matter what I could have said...
back in their mind,
while I am yelping in front and back...
They are saying...
after all i am not their bosses/ superior..
who are not in your session
who usually sings
I DID IT My Way...
[It really doesn't matter when the 'way' is the wrong way.]
I heard that!
Okay, I heard that!
ALL FOR ONE AND
ONE FOR ALL
Goshhhh.. dilemma.. dilemma.. dilemma...
I have been studying my notes and lesson plan... those ready made lesson plans
I have made for previous target groups.. I have studying my lesson modules
yet I find it intriguing and disturbing that
after they left my programme
during my post-course evaluation session
about 25% sticks on to it.
The other 48% decided not to give it a try... too messy.
(Messy in terms of managing their superior who doesn't want to listen to new options or approaches)
7% never answers their evaluation interviews.
The balance 20% however, would want to take some effort at it ONLY IF
their superior or team players attends the modules.
SO,
I STOP TEACHING?
I STOP FEEDING?
I STOP TRYING?
I know better lah...
Okay! Fume out...
And I'm lighter now...
much, much lighter.
back to my teaching materials
but before that,
I've mixed some special concoction
here is the recipe
1. You guys are stuck with me for 2 hours anyway.
2. Off with the normal lesson plan.
3. I'm gonna start simply with what is stuck on you desk!
4. Tic-tac-toe ala Me!
5. I'll mix the fundamentals thick with your blood. You'll be the expert, yourself!
6. On with the JOB! there and then!
There you go..
with 6 ingredients.
[NONE of the images on the page belongs to me. All credits goes to their rightful creative owners.
Thank you so much for adding a pinch of salt to my journaling.]
THE END
